Avoiding These Six Mistakes May Make For a Better Marriage.

  By Julie Edgar

Attention, married women: What you don’t know about marriage may spell trouble.  If you don’t speak up for what you want, your husband is flying blind — and not likely to deliver. And the way you talk about your issues may be making matters worse.

Getting married is easy. Being married can be trickier. Here is some expert advice to avoid or correct six common mistakes that can cost a marriage, or at the least, weaken its foundations. Whether it’s you or your spouse making these mistakes, taking positive action can make a big difference.

1. Being Too Accommodating.

Some wives are too willing to give up on what they want, says Susan Heitler, PhD, a Denver-based clinical psychologist and author of www.poweroftwo.org, a marriage skills-building course.  Heitler calls it “appendage-itis,” in which the wife is basically being an accessory to the husband, instead of being a full and equal partner in the marriage.  Some women tend to be “all about him” rather than all about themselves, as men tend to be, Heitler says.

“Usually, they’re afraid it could result in a fight or some unpleasantness, or they just think somehow, on a subconscious level, in order to preserve the relationship, they have to diminish what they themselves want,” she says.  The sense of helplessness leads to anger that eventually boils over.

Her solution? Express your concerns rationally, whether about housework or parenting duties, or about not getting enough time with your husband or for yourself. He may like golfing on weekends while she may want him around for family time.  ”If she spoke up, they might be able to work out a better arrangement,” Heitler says. “Maybe they’d switch to a softball league in the summer where it would be a family event.”

2. Not Being Clear About Expectations.

Couples that function the best in marriage have made their expectations clear from the outset about division of labor, parenthood, and money, says family and marriage therapist Eli Karam, PhD, an assistant professor of couples therapy at the University of Louisville.  But many couples don’t have these discussions and are operating on auto-pilot. “Lots of couples operate on what they assume in their head because they grew up that way, that if it works for them, it works for their partners,” Karam says.

Resentment can easily build if expectations differ or are dashed on the rocks of hard reality. For example, some women “think having a baby will change their husband or bring him closer. What we know about marriage satisfaction is that it takes a massive dip when the first child is born. If they knew that before marriage … it would help them navigate normal roadblocks and not freak out when it happens.”

 3. Underestimating The Effect Of Tone of Voice.

No matter who’s speaking, man or woman, tone of voice can be an issue if it’s even tinged only slightly with negativity.  If you have concerns, Heitler encourages “verbalizing them in a respectful way,” rather than speaking in a frustrated, irritated voice.

By all means, discuss what’s bothering you. But do it in a way that searches for solutions and alternatives, rather than venting in a way that puts a peaceful solution further out of reach.

4. Mismatched Communication Styles.

If you feel you aren’t being heard by your husband, you may want to revisit your communication style.  Some women repeat their complaint or a concern a few times in an effort to get their husband’s attention. Some men may call that nagging, but it may just be about having different communication styles.

Karam calls it the “demand-withdraw” dynamic: One person wants a conversation, but the other hasn’t figured out how to respond or appears to have shut down, so the speaker presses further. “That’s a vicious pattern,” Karam says.

If that happens frequently in your relationship, remember to pause and let your spouse absorb what you’re saying and have “a chance to validate what they’ve heard,” Karam says.

It might be useful to take a hard look at what is fixed — personality quirks, for example — and what can be changed. Citing the work of marriage/couples researcher John Gottman, Karam says nearly 70% of marital problems are “perpetual,” meaning that these are entrenched issues that drag on. The challenge is to recognize what can and cannot be corrected, and also recognize what you do and do not have control over.  It helps to “move toward acceptance,” Karam says. “You’re not going to change a cautious person into a risk-taker or an introvert into an extrovert.”

5. Not Making Sex a Priority.

Whether it’s fatigue or some other reason, many women don’t make enough time for sex or intimacy. That’s a serious mistake, say Heitler and Karam.  “The reality is, what is best for everybody — for them, their spouse — is a healthy sex life,” says Heitler. “It keeps the family a happy family. And what their kids need more than anything is parents who have a strong, positive bond.”

Karam says women need to build in time — and by extension, desire — to make love with their husbands. “They can’t just drop everything and have sex with their husband. It’s a product of spending alone time together, building anticipation throughout the week,” he says.

Feeling sexy is a good way to start, and that means a woman must make herself a priority.  “Generally, if you’re a woman, you have to prioritize self-care. If you feel good about yourself, you’re probably going to feel sexual,” Karam says.

6. Forgetting To Cherish Their Partner.

Some women get so focused on kids, work, and home that they forget to make the small gestures that go a long way to solidifying their marriage.

“In healthy relationships, there are dollops of positivity, very frequently doled out,” Heitler says. “They can be smiles, eye contact, hugs or touching, verbal comments like ‘I agree with that’ or ‘good point’ or even the word ‘yes.’  Listening, agreement, appreciation, affection — those all send out positive energy that envelope both people in sunshine.”

Those gestures remind both partners that they like each other, and friendship is at the heart of successful marriages . Married people often “operate on out-of-date knowledge of self,” he says, leading them away from true appreciation of their partners.

“It’s a myth that a good marriage sustains itself,” he says. “It’s learning yourself, learning your partner. What you are at 24 is not what you are at 34.”

 (Talk therapy may be getting a bad rap. Here’s the reality.)

By Heather Hatfield
Edited by Nate Newman, Ph.D., BCD

 Many people have a perception of talk therapy that doesn’t quite match up to reality. If you think therapy means lying on a couch with a box of tissues and paying top dollar to talk to someone who doesn’t quite get it, or that it’s only for people who are mentally ill, think again.

It turns out that most people could benefit from therapy — but it takes work on your part, a therapist who understands your needs and really does understand you, and as much time as it takes — at your convenience and within your budget — to make a difference.

An expert psychologist  explains the top 7 misunderstandings that people have about therapy — with a dose of reality tossed in.

 My Childhood Doesn’t Matter.

Most people start therapy because they have an issue in their adult life that they want to talk about with a professional. Whether it’s job trouble, relationship turmoil, or struggles with children, it’s not today that needs fixing — it’s the way you relate to your past.

“Your relationship with your parents and your childhood are immensely significant on your life today,” says Jenn Berman, PhD, a Marriage, Family, and Child Therapist in private practice in Beverly Hills, Calif. “Most people think that to have been affected by their childhood they needed to be abused in some way. But it’s never that black and white. ”

Sometimes, it’s the seemingly simple act of being misunderstood by your parents as a child that can have a tremendous impact on your adult life. And it’s just not some people who need to dig up the past — it’s everyone.

“One hundred percent of people who seek help in therapy have issues that relate to their childhood,” says Carole Leiberman, MD, a Beverly Hills, Calif., psychiatrist. “Certain expectations and beliefs or perceptions (and the resulting behavior choices) you have in your adult life come from childhood, and could cause a person to have trouble today.”

All Therapists Are The Same.

Not even close, Berman says. There are different types of therapists and different types of therapy — such as cognitive therapy, which engages a client to identify, challenge, and then change behavior that causes issues in his life; and psychoanalytic therapy, which deals more with how the subconscious influences behavior.  “Don’t think that whoever you meet with first will be the right fit for you,” says Berman, who hosts the Love and Sex Show with Dr. Jenn on Sirius/XM radio. “Shop around for the right person.”

Her advice is to talk to a half-dozen different therapists as a good benchmark and then pick the expert that best meets your needs.  Look for someone who is a licensed therapist, with expertise in the area in which you are seeking help — whether it’s marriage counseling, traumatic stress, or eating disorders, for instance — and someone with whom you just have good chemistry and have a sense of comfort and with whom you feel safe.

I Don’t Need Therapy, Just Drugs.

“This is never the answer,” says Leiberman, host of the Internet radio show Dr. Carole’s Couch. “If you think you need medication only to treat your mental health issues, then you definitely need therapy as well.”  The medication, she says, is just a bandage. Without therapy as part of your treatment plan, you run the risk of just covering up your symptoms and not treating the underlying issue.

“Therapy is what gets to the root of the problem,” Leiberman says. “It’s talking about a person’s issues, learning more about where they stem from, and understanding and treating the cause.”  The real value to your mental health comes from uncovering your issues, gaining insight into what went wrong, and then starting to look for a better path forward, Leiberman says.

It’s Not Going to Work.

Though almost anyone could benefit from a good dose of professional discussion about the state of their mental health, many people are doubtful it will do them any good.  “Lots of people have misinformation about therapy,” Berman says. “It’s not a passive experience in which you can come in, talk, leave, and get better. It only works if you work at it, and if you are an active participant in making a difference in your own life.”

Fear also plays a role in creating skepticism about the value of therapy for some people.  “When people are resistant to therapy, they are generally afraid,” Lieberman says. “They know there are issues they need to deal with and they are fearful of addressing them, which creates a barrier that comes through as, “It’s not going to work.”

But once a person overcomes the fear and starts to engage in the process, Lieberman says they’re headed in the right direction.

It’s Too Expensive.

You don’t have to always pay top dollar for expert help.  “Many universities and colleges with mental health programs are associated with clinics where their students train — and don’t get paid for their time,” Berman says.

In order to be licensed, students have to do a minimum of 3,000 clinic hours under supervision. So it’s like getting two for the price of one, except it’s low-cost (or free) in some cases.  “They’re being graded and judged on how they treat you, and a licensed professional is guiding them in the background,” Berman says. “So the care you are getting is actually very good.”

Health insurance companies also provide some mental health coverage, but whether a therapist takes insurance varies. If they don’t, many offer sliding fee scales based on income for people who need help but can’t afford it.

It’s Going To Send Me Over The Edge.

Think talk therapy and rehashing the past is going to overwhelm you and push you over the edge? In all likelihood, that won’t happen.  “Lots of people think that the pain of therapy will be so overwhelming they will lose it,” Lieberman says. “A good therapist knows how far each client can go at a particular moment and when to pull back.”  Responsible therapists know not to “open up” the client, unless they can also close the “wounds” before the client leaves the office.

It is also very important to know and understand that therapy is not an instant fix. It’s done in spoon-sized doses that are as much as a person can deal with at the moment.

“People are skittish because they sometimes think therapy is like walking around with an open wound,” Berman says. “But it’s important to remember that you are in charge of guiding how far you want to go, and when. And again, with the right therapist, you’ll work together to find an appropriate pace that meets your needs and makes you feel safe.”

Driving requires interaction between your body and mental processes.  We often drive in mental states that interfere with our ability to perceive risk and react quickly.  Emotional impairment leads to unpredictable behavior, which increases the risk for everyone in the driving environment.

Emotional impairment factors are hard to manage because they often arise suddenly, without warning.  The most common factors that create an emotionally impaired driver include:

• Stress
• Anger or rage
• Fear, anxiety, or panic accompanied by irrational thoughts
• Depression
• Grief
• Speed and/or risk addiction
• Habitual disrespect for rules
• Negativity that condones hostility on the highway
• Denial of one’s own driving mistakes

Drivers who drive recklessly while experiencing these emotions are characterized as unwilling to exercise self-control because of fear, vengeance, prejudice, or disrespect for others.  Driving is a dynamic activity that involves high-risk incidents and interaction with thousands of unpredictable drivers and events.  It is not difficult to imagine what happens when you mix routine driving events with incidents that are not routine such as being cut off, tailgated, or having to follow a very slow moving vehicle.  This combination becomes even more risky when your expected freedom and independence that accompanies driving is interrupted by restrictions, regulations, congestion, and the unexpected actions of other drivers.

The following is a list of emotional challenges that are common reasons why drivers get angry, hostile, and exhibit aggressive behavior:

• Restriction:  When you cannot get where you are going on time because of a traffic jam, anxiety builds up to “escape” the confinement of congested traffic.  This anxiety can cause you to perform aggressive maneuvers to get away from or get ahead of others.
• Being Confronted with Danger:  Congested traffic filled with impatient drivers who make unpredictable moves, cause “close calls” and near collisions.  Being confronted with dangerous situations increases stress, fear, resentment, and rage.
• Regulations:  All of the rules associated with driving angers some people because they feel it is an imposition, prompting them to disregard the rules because they do not agree with them, or they are just being rebellious.
• Lack of Control Over the Situation:  When drivers have no control over their driving environment and are stuck in traffic, the lack of control over traffic events is frustrating and often leads to anger vented towards a nearby driver, motorcyclists, etc.  As a result, frustration leads to aggression.

The aggressive driver typically denies that crash-causing behaviors are aggressive.  But it is clear that drivers who put others in danger by the way they choose to drive are hostile, dangerous and selfish.  They want to force others out of their way.  These drivers typically feel justified in dominating others, which labels this type of behavior as “aggressive driving.”

Road rage is an escalation of emotions generally provoked by aggressive drivers.  It is characterized by a driver using his/her vehicle or some other object to threatren or cause physical harm to another highway user.  These drivers are more likely to allow their emotions to take control, which leads them to participate in road rage behavior:

• Using the vehicle to cut other drivers off or run them over
• Chasing other vehicles in pursuit
• Throwing objects from the vehicle
• Physical fighting
• Rude and obscene gestures
• Shouting, swearing, name calling
• Shining high-beam headlights in retaliation

Under these circumstances, how do you protect yourself from becoming a road rager, and from the road rage of another driver?  The first step is to manage your own emotions.  When you detect your emotions dominating your judgement and actions, practice a simple but effective technique called “self-regulation.”

•  Forget, or put aside the gratification of getting even or engaging in a hostile act.  It seldom happens wihout negative consequences.  Short-circuit the buildup of rage by concentrating on your safety and the safety of others around you.
• Do not take the aggressive actions of other drivers personally.  Try not to be judgmental of other drivers, or jump to conclusions about their behavor.
• Listen to soothing music.
• Cool off when you are angry or frustrated.  As simplistic as this may sound, most anger is triggered by others not meeting our expectations on how they should behave.  While the expectation may be correct, no one is guarenteed that their expectations will be met.
• Demonstrate the kind of courtesy and patience you would like to receive from others.  While it may not always be given in return, the importance is in your managing your emotions to avoid being drawn into a dangerous situation.  And once in a while, someone else will demonstrate random acts of kindness.

Top 10 Relationship Wreckers

1. Neglecting Your Partner (ignoring, workaholic, addictions):

A primary function of a relationship is to provide companionship and to meet each other’s needs. When other activities, interests or preoccupations interfere with our availability, we can wind up short-changing our partner. This can be thought of as absenteeism or being MIA. Taking an inventory and making adjustments in how we spend our time is the first step in correcting this problem. Treat your partner as the important person he or she is by spending enough quality time together to satisfy each other and to maintain your connection.

2. Depriving Your Partner (not being attentive, expressive,  affectionate,  supportive, caring):

Being there physically is not enough. We cannot expect our relationship to thrive if we withdraw emotionally for extended periods of time. In order to be fully present, we must be aware of our partner and be willing to show how we feel both verbally and non-verbally.  Crucial to keeping a relationship strong and vibrant is expressing love to each other through affectionate and caring behaviors.  Small regular moments of intimacy can usually suffice, and the most important times of day to communicate positively are upon waking, reuniting after a long day, and before going to sleep.

3. Dishonesty & Betrayal (infidelity, lying):

Most people are aware that the foundation of any relationship is T-R-U-S-T. In no relationship is trust more important than in a relationship between mates, except for parent and dependent child relationship. Cheating and lying breaks down the basis for a relationship, and often results in its demise. A problem of this nature is serious, and resolving it must be a top priority if the relationship is to survive.  Couples counseling is highly recommended in order to facilitate the changes that are needed.

4. Attacking Your Partner (blaming, abuse – physical, emotional, sexual):

Aggressive communication is simply unacceptable, especially if the abuse becomes physical. Physical or sexual abuse is a deal-breaker in a relationship, and should prompt a permanent separation. The abusive partner needs to get professional help to learn skills in anger management, in order to gain and consistently demonstrate better control over his or her emotions and behavior. Even if the help is sought and progress is made, the risk of recurrence remains high.  Therefore,  in most cases, the abused partner should not immediately return to the relationship. Returning can serve to reinforce the abusive behavior, leading the abuser to increase the severity and frequency of subsequent abuse. Instead, the abused partner should also seek help, and work through issues that have the potential to lead into another abusive relationship. Verbally blaming, accusing, and insulting your partner are less extreme forms of destructiveness, but are not OK either, and assertiveness training can provide the essential skills for healthy communication.

5. Scapegoat (taking your anger or frustration out on your partner or someone else):

We all know that it’s not right to kick the dog after a hard day at work, so why does it have to be taken out on your partner? Being held responsible for things that are out of our control is the most stressful of conditions, and that is what we do to our partner when we scapegoat them. Rather than hurt the ones you love, do what it takes to meet the real problem head-on, as effectively as you can. If you are unsure of how to address a problem, the strong and mature thing to do is to ask for help and support from trusted sources (i.e., a friend, relative, or therapist).

6. Negativism (nitpicking, nagging, criticizing):

To have a good relationship, the positives must outweigh the negatives by a large percentage. If negativity is creeping into your relationship, it is like water seeping into walls, eventually weakening the structure. People usually feel good around others who are upbeat and positive, as well as those who help them to feel good about themselves. Whenever negative spirits are brought into a relationship, the negativity will crowd out the positive.  However, pushing aside or neglecting to address real problems is not the answer either, and can be just as harmful to a healthy relationship as dwelling on the negative. So pick your battles wisely, strive to communicate effectively, and practice cooperative negotiation.

7. Gossiping (telling family or friends about your problems but not addressing them with your partner):

If you are talking about problems in your relationship with friends or relatives but not working with your partner on improving the situation, that amounts to gossip. Gossip is not a productive way to handle problems, and can result in additional problems. For instance, your partner may feel betrayed that you revealed sensitive material to others that cause him or her to be embarrassed or uncomfortable.  Also, if you promote a negative side of your partner or your relationship, others may get a distorted view, and changes in their attitudes and behavior towards you or your partner may follow. Others may remember your conflicts long after you and your partner have gotten past them. Instead, work on improving your communication skills. Turn toward your partner, not away. If you need help, seek out the assistance of an objective third party such as a therapist who works with couples. When it comes to your needs, stop complaining and start asking!

8. Controlling Your Partner (“my way” or else, perfectionism, trying to change your partner, possessiveness):

Wanting things to be a certain way and having preferences are completely natural and even healthy. However, when this tendency becomes extreme and starts to encroach on the rights, needs and desires of others, it can cause major havoc. Freedom of will and self-determination are basic needs, and when these are being threatened, negative reactions may include anger, resentment, and/or rebellion. If the need to control is a problem in your relationship, identify the motivations behind it and work towards dealing with those issues rather than acting them out with your partner.

9. Putting You First (self-centeredness, selfishness, entitlement):

It’s not “all about me,” folks. Letting one’s self interests take priority in an unbalanced way can be toxic to a partnership. The other person usually winds up feeling deprived, resentful, and unimportant. Furthermore, the more self-involved you are, the more you take your relationship for granted, the less you appreciate your partner, and the more alone you actually are. So if your relationship is slanted in this way, you also lose out, because you experience less of the joy that a true connection brings. You and you partner both get more from the relationship through reciprocity in giving and receiving.

10. Putting You Last (self-neglect, passivity, self sacrifice):

Martyrs are seldom happy. More often, they are angry, bitter, resentful, depressed and burned out. This is not to say that you should not consider others and be thoughtful in meeting their needs. But having a healthy relationship involves factoring your own needs and desires into the equation. You teach people how to treat you, and if you act like a doormat, you can’t completely blame someone if they wipe their feet on you. Learn how to stand up for yourself, practice assertive communication, ask and allow others to meet your needs, and take care of yourself as much as you take care of your loved ones.

What was wrong can often be made right:

Problems can be used as lessons; we can choose to learn from them, and find a better way. Each of these relationship wreckers is related to one or more schemas, which are maladaptive patterns of thinking (perceptions) and feeling (reactions) that are outwardly expressed in negative coping behaviors. These patterns are typically learned in childhood, and get perpetuated and elaborated during one’s life. Everyone has schemas, both positive and negative. The negative ones were once adaptive, but are no longer appropriate or productive. Self-help and improvement efforts may take you a long way towards where you want to be. In addition, Cognitive Therapy  is an effective treatment approach for overcoming these patterns by replacing them with new, healthy ways of thinking, feeling and behaving.

Written by: Nate Newman, Phd

ANGER IN CHILDREN

 Anger is a feeling that everyone experiences in day-to-day living.  Many children claim to feel numb or no anger at all.  Many of us feel a tremendous fear of our anger or explode into rages.  We may have seen or experienced our parents either express anger inappropriately (e.g., beating or aggressively punishing a child, kicking the dog, putting a fist through the wall) or not express anger at all, especially in those situations when feeling angry would have been appropriate.

Holding anger in distorts and twists our feelings, so that when it is released, it comes out distorted and twisted.  We may even deny our angry feelings, especially toward our parents or others that we love.  While we often accuse others of “Making us angry,” in reality we are most often angry because someone is Not doing what we want them to do, or doing what we don’t want them to do.  It is usually  our Expectations that become the trigger, not another person.

The Look Of A Angry Child

In general, there are three ways that children express anger:  EXPLODING, SIDESWIPING OR STUFFING.

*EXPLODERS:  These children often goes into rages over insignificant things and act calm over issues in which anger would seem to be appropriate.  They often punish anyone in their path, either physically or verbally.

Possible Outcomes:  Low self-esteem, loss of friends and family,

self-debasement or problems with authority figures.

*SIDESWIPERS:  Often use passive-aggressive techniques:  Seek

revenge and avoid direct confrontations;  Often punish others through

martyrdom and verbal abuse.

Possible Outcomes:  Low self-esteem, martyrdom, illusion of

power over others, rejection or physical illness.

*STUFFERS:  Often holds in and stuffs angry or hurt feelings.  Often is self-

punishing through self-destructive measures.  Often punish others by

withdrawing into self.

Possible Outcomes:  Low self-esteem, martyrdom, isolation, physical illness

and suicidal feelings.

The feeling of anger is human.  The expression of anger is learned behavior.  As a child you may have learned to express your anger like one or both of your parents.  Examining your parents’ and your own expression of anger may aid you in self-understanding and compassion.  You may also begin to see choices in terms of how you can express your feelings.

Written by: Nate Newman, Phd

What Is Anger?

Anger is a very powerful emotion that can stem from feelings of frustration, hurt, annoyance, or disappointment. It is a normal human emotion that can range from slight irritation to strong rage.  Simply stated, it is often “triggered” when events or persons do not meet our expectations;  i.e., “Someone is not doing what I want them to do, or is doing what I don’t want them to do.”

What Are the Dangers of Suppressed Anger?

Suppressed anger can be an underlying cause of anxiety and depression. Anger that is not appropriately expressed can disrupt relationships, affect thinking and behavior patterns, and create a variety of physical problems. Chronic (long-term) anger has been linked to health issues such as high blood pressure, heart problems, headaches, skin disorders, and digestive problems. In addition, anger can be linked to problems such as crime, emotional and physical abuse, and other violent behavior.

What Steps Can I Take to Help Manage Anger?

- When you start feeling angry, try deep breathing, positive self-talk, or stopping your angry thoughts. Breathe deeply from your diaphragm. Slowly repeat a calm word or phrase such as “relax” or “take it easy.” Repeat it to yourself while breathing deeply until the anger subsides.
- Although expressing anger is better than keeping it in, anger should be expressed in an appropriate way. Frequent outbursts of anger are often counter-productive and cause problems in relationships with others. Anger outbursts are also stressful to your nervous and cardiovascular systems and can make health problems worse. Learning how to use assertiveness is the healthy way to express your feelings, needs, and preferences. Being assertive can be used in place of using anger in these situations.
- Seek out the support of others. Talk through your feelings and try to work on changing your behaviors.
- If you have trouble realizing when you are having angry thoughts, keep a log of when you feel angry.
- Try to gain a different perspective by putting yourself in another’s place.
- Learn how to laugh at yourself and see humor in situations.
- Practice good listening skills. Listening can help improve communication and can facilitate trusting feelings between people. This trust can help you deal with potentially hostile emotions.
- Learn to assert yourself, expressing your feelings calmly and directly without becoming defensive, hostile, or emotionally charged. Consult self-help books on assertiveness or seek help from a professional therapist to learn how to use assertiveness and anger management skills.
- Remind yourself often that there are no guarantees that we will always have what we want when we want it.  You may believe that your expectations are correct, and so might the other person.  While you may not be able to change the hand that you are dealt,  you have many options or choices for how you play the hand.

What Else Can I Do to Deal With My Anger in a Healthy Way?

If you believe that your anger is out of control and is having a negative affect on your life and relationships, seek the help of a mental health professional. A mental health professional can work with you to develop techniques for changing your thinking and your behavior.  Choose your therapist carefully and make sure to seek treatment from a professional who is trained to teach anger management and assertiveness skills.

WHO AM I?
• I have been practicing psychotherapy and counseling for the past 27 years. For the last 18 years, my practice has been in Westlake Village, California.

• I have worked with individuals and groups in organizational settings, including inpatient psychiatric hospitals, addiction treatment facilities and healthcare agencies, which has provided me with substantial experience through my work with a wide range of clients.

• I received my Masters degree from UCLA and my Ph.D. from Brandeis University in Waltham, Massachusetts. I am Board Certified in Clinical Social Work and hold Specialty Certification in Gerontology, Hospice and Palliative Care.

• As an Associate Professor, I have taught classes at the graduate school level at California State University, Long Beach.

• My professional development includes training in cognitive-behavioral therapy, as well as interpersonal and psychodynamic techniques. I continue to receive training and experience working with individuals and couples with communication and interpersonal relationship challenges; adults experiencing stress, depression, anxiety and crisis; seniors requiring life-planning support; and adolescents with adjustment, family and school-related issues and substance addiction problems.

• I have conducted training on post-traumatic stress and anger management at schools and community businesses. I am an Employee Assistance Program provider for several local and national companies, and I am an in-network provider for Medicare and many PPO and HMO insurance companies.

WHAT CLINICAL CONCERNS OR DISORDERS DO I TREAT?
My areas of practice include, but are not limited to, the following:
• Self esteem and/or personal growth
• Loneliness or relationship issues